


come just as you are to me

by rxgers



Category: How to Get Away with Murder
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-Finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 23:43:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,316
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3507026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rxgers/pseuds/rxgers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I can't believe that's the first time I've ever seen Tangled, I must have seen Frozen about a million times with my niece and I swear to God if I hear 'Let It Go' one more time-" <br/>"Connor, did you kill Sam Keating?" <br/>A breath. <br/>A pause. <br/>No reply.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come just as you are to me

**Author's Note:**

> title from 'unconditionally' by katy perry  
> this happens to be my first coliver fic and my second fic that i've ever written so pls dont be too mean im a delicate flower  
> enjoy!! or don't. my writings bad

"I can't believe that's the first time I've ever seen Tangled, I must have seen Frozen about a million times with my niece and I swear to God if I hear 'Let It Go' one more time-"

"Connor, did you kill Sam Keating?"

A breath.

A pause.

No reply.

They'd spent the evening eating Thai food (it was Connor's favourite) and watching Disney movies, the latest being Wreck-It Ralph. Oliver was at the breakfast bar refilling their glasses. Connor stood beside the sink, washing the dishes from their meal.

Oliver had begin to suspect something was off when he saw on the news that Sam Keating's - Connor's boss' husband - remains had been found at a landfill site, charred and dismembered. Charred. Burned. He couldn't get the smell of smoke out of his head; when Connor had shown up at his apartment hyperventilating and sobbing he had reeked of it, even after he had showered Oliver could smell it in his hair and on his clothes. The stench lingered in his apartment hours after Connor left. Smoke. He'd asked Connor about the smell a couple of days later, and he'd brushed it off as 'There was a bonfire on campus for the football team or something, it's nothing' but Oliver wasn't convinced. Connor didn’t exactly seem like the school spirit type of guy. Especially not the do drugs at a football team bonfire type of guy, either. Something wasn't right.

But Oliver hadn't had the heart to ask him when Connor had come over a couple of nights later. It was Christmas, Connor was happy, and he was trying so damn hard and he was talking about going to a fancy restaurant and then they were watching the Thorn Birds together and it was so nice and then Connor fell asleep on his sofa and Oliver was covering him with a blanket and didn’t say anything.

And then Oliver was washing the dishes and suddenly he was kissing Connor and then Connor was begging him to let him stay and he didn’t say anything.

And then Connor was at his door with apple cider talking about sobriety and then they were on his sofa and Oliver was helping Connor with work for the umpteenth time and they were laughing and then they were at a bar with Connor's friends and then Oliver was drunk enough to tell Connor that he loved him but not drunk enough to forget about it in the morning and he didn't say anything.

And then they were making out on the sofa and then they were getting tested for HIV and Connor looked so scared that Oliver didn't say anything.

And then they were in Oliver's room and he was sobbing into Connor's chest and dammit, he couldn't say anything.

Little things kept happening that added up. Whenever the news came on TV, Connor would quickly change the channel. Like he was afraid of what he might find. When he would fall asleep on Oliver's sofa he would sometimes wake with a start, drenched in sweat and hyperventilating. One night he even woke up screaming and yelling, but refused to tell Oliver what the matter was or let him comfort him. Every now and then he would go quiet - which was very unlike Connor - and it would take Oliver repeating his name multiple times for him to come back. Little things.

"Connor." Oliver pressed, voice sharp. There was another long pause - the only sound being Connor's heavy breathing. In the distance, a cat yowled.

"I'm not a drug addict," Connor said so softly in was almost inaudible, and Oliver would feel sorry for him if he wasn't so damn furious.

"Well of course you're not a drug addict, _Jesus_ Connor!" Oliver marched forward and grabbed Connor's shoulder in one hand, spinning him round to face him. His expression softened a little when he saw Connor's lower lip quivering precariously and his eyes wet and rimmed with red.

"I- I didn't kill him. I didn't."

"But you helped," replied Oliver, trying to keep his voice as steady as possible "you were involved."

"Yes, I mean no I- it wasn't like that, I swear," Connor's voice trembled as he spoke, and Oliver noticed that his hands were still covered in soap from the sink.

"What _was_ it like, Connor?"

"I don't- I can't-"

"Connor, you better tell me right now or I swear to God-"

"It was Wes."

"What?" What did he mean, 'it was Wes'? The quiet one in his study group that barely said a word when they were at the bar the other night?

"We were at Annalise's house and Rebecca was downloading Sam's computer files 'cos she thought he killed Lila and then he just lunged at her and they were trying to get the flash drive and then he went for Laurel so Michaela pushed him and he fell over the banister and we thought he was dead but then he grabbed Rebecca again and he was gonna kill her, he was, so Wes hit-" Connor stopped, gagged, then continued "hit him in the head and he _died._ "

"Oh my God, Connor. Oh my God," Oliver breathed, turning away and moving into the living room. He took a deep breath "and then what happened?"

"What- What do you mean?" Connor's voice was thick.

"What happened then? What did you do with the body?" "

We took it out to the woods and we burned it and then I...I..." Connor trailed off and turned away from Oliver, gripping the edge of the counter so hard his knuckles turned white. "You did what, Connor?"

"I hacked up the body with a shovel."

"Oh my fucking God, this can't be happening." Connor flinched. He didn't think he'd ever heard Oliver swear before.

"You lied to me!" Oliver exploded "You told me you had a drug addiction, Connor, of all things! You've been in my shower! You've slept on my couch! We've kissed! Jesus Christ, I've kissed a murderer!"

He couldn't believe this was happening. This sort of stuff doesn't happen in real life.

"It said on the news that someone had been arrested on suspicion of Sam's murder. You're gonna let an innocent man go down for it?"

Connor's silence said enough.

"Get out." Oliver spat, and suddenly he was back to a few months ago when he'd shoved Connor out of his apartment, tears stinging his eyes, the word 'actually' refusing to leave his head. After he slammed the door, he'd sunk to the floor sobbing. He thought that that was the worst pain he'd ever felt - but it was nothing compared to this.

"Get out!" he repeated, and Connor immediately raced towards the door, picking up his shoes and coat as he went. Oliver followed him and slammed the door behind him so hard the floor shook. He turned away from the door, shaking with rage, angry tears in his eyes.

Then he heard Connor make a broken noise from the other side of the door. Oliver's heart flipped over. He'd never heard such a sound before, it was like the cry of a wounded animal, lost and alone.

Before he could stop himself, Oliver flung open the door. In one swift motion he grabbed Connor's wrist, tugged him inside and slammed the door, enfolding the younger man in his arms. Immediately Connor buried his head in the crook of Oliver's neck, hands twisted into the taller man's top. His body shook with harsh sobs and Oliver's skin was already wet with tears.

"It's alright, I'm here," Oliver whispered soothingly, stroking the back of Connor's head with one hand and holding him tight with the other "I'm not going to leave you, I promise."

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Connor repeated frantically between sobs, his word's muffled against Oliver's shoulder.

"Ssh," Oliver hushed him "I know, Connor, I know."

**Author's Note:**

> hit me up on tumblr at bucckkyy.tumblr.com where we can talk about these two gay nerds


End file.
